Sunny Side Up

I’ve decided to take a walk on the sunny side of the street today.
Here are some people that I’m thankful for:

• My daughter, who is healthy (thank God!), beautiful, gifted, and very wise for her age.
• My mom and dad, who are there for me through all kinds of weather.
• My soul sister, Cheryl the Pearl, who has been through all the highways, hills, valleys, and detours with me.
• My aunties and uncles who’ve held me on their knees, dressed me, changed me, laughed with me, and comforted me with their smiles and hugs when things have gone wrong.
• My homegirls from Rosegate who I carry with me in my heart, no matter where I am. I can still see us playing football, dancing, and singing in the streets. (We are family …)
• Madear in Nashville who has supported me through the really tough times this year. (I know you’ll always be there!)
• My family in Nashville and Atlanta just for being there and loving me through it all.
• Pastors Keith and Contessa McNeal, who saved me months, maybe even years of uncertainty with my first meeting with them and the powerful lessons they taught at the True Worship Restoration Center in Madison, Tenn. (I’m still searching Charlotte for something that comes close to that kind of spirituality. I hope I find it soon!)
• My friends in Nashville who listened while I cried and sobbed my way back to sanity.
• My friend O., who reminded me how beautiful and special I am. I truly had forgotten. Thanks man.
• My dear friend Annette, who called just at the right time to reconnect our friendship and feed me with her strong sense of the Word and God.
• My ancestors and friends who have passed away but have taught me things from the other side.
• And God, for keeping me healthy, loving me, and giving me the strength, wisdom, and understanding to make the tough decisions, and to do the hard things. Praise God.

Lifting Me Up

I'm praying that the defilement, humiliation, anger brought on by insensitive comments made by people who don't seem to know better, anxiety brought on by abandonment, betrayal and neglect; low self-esteem, loss of family, and callousness, will all continue to be washed away. God, I know you didn't bring me this far to leave me. I can feel you lifting me up out of the fire when I ask you to. Thank you.

Seeing Red: Rebirth and Dirt in North Carolina

I've been living in Charlotte, North Carolina for almost two weeks now and something about the place that fascinates me and brings back memories is the red dirt that's all around here. During my childhood visits to Norwood, a small town about 50 minutes from Charlotte, I remember seeing the red dirt and noticed how it seemed to cling to people's shoes and clothes more stubbornly than the brown dirt found in other places.

Since I've been here, I've wondered what makes the dirt red, but can’t seem to find a really good, thorough explanation. I've asked relatives who grew up in North Carolina why the dirt here is so vibrant and lifelike, but they don’t seem to know. From the bit of research that I've done, I've found that North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, and a few other places in the United States, including parts of Texas, have red dirt.

A 1986 article in the The Piedmont Naturalist talks a bit about red dirt or clay and farming practices, but it still doesn't really explain why the dirt is red.

Also, a documentary about African-American farmers and land loss called Homecoming: Sometimes I am Haunted by Red Dirt and Clay, pays homage to the vibrant red earth.

The film's creator, Charlene Gilbert, paints a poignant picture of how the red dirt affected her:

When I was five my family left the South. My mother went home to Montezuma to say goodbye. I don't remember anyone telling me we were going or how long we would be, but I do remember playing in the dirt out by the barn. I remember making mud pies with the red dirt and begging my grandmother for a fresh egg, a key ingredient to any good mud pie. When they called me to leave I scooped up all the dirt I could pack and took it with me to the car. I don't think my mother found the dirt until long after we had left. I'm sure she threw it out and never thought twice about it. I, on the other hand, think about that red dirt every time I look down at my feet. –- Charlene Gilbert

I’ve also heard and read about the pottery and face paintings that Native Americans created with red clay. And there are the stories of women who ate (some who still eat) red dirt or clay. Evidently, some mothers have passed down the practice to their daughters. My daughter has come home several days now with the red dirt on her legs, face, and clothes. The remnants of it can be found on her washcloths and in her bathwater.

When I saw the red dirt again after moving to Charlotte and traveling from our apartment to my parents' small rural hometown about 50 minutes away, I've fantasized about why the dirt is red. Could it be the blood of the overworked and abused African-Americans, or the slaughtered Native Americans, whose bodies are buried in the dirt? Could the red dirt be God’s way of telling us that this part of the country is fertile for new growth and magical happenings? Yeah, I think this is so.

If you have any information about why red dirt is so prevalent in the Carolinas, please post a message here and let me know. I would really appreciate the information.

Listening to Proverbs

Here is God speaking to me today, and you'd better believe that I'm attentively listening.

Proverbs 2:1-15

My child, if you accept my words
and treasure up my commandments within you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
if you indeed cry out for insight,
and raise your voice for understanding;
if you seek it like silver,
and search for it as for hidden treasures—
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
he is a shield to those who walk blamelessly,
guarding the paths of justice
and preserving the way of his faithful ones.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice
and equity, every good path;
for wisdom will come into your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
prudence will watch over you;
and understanding will guard you.
It will save you from the way of evil,
from those who speak perversely,
who forsake the paths of uprightness
to walk in the ways of darkness,
who rejoice in doing evil
and delight in the perverseness of evil;
those whose paths are crooked,
and who are devious in their ways.

Nessun Dorma and M'appari--Beautiful Music

I'm working as a freelancer right now and luckily I'm able to listen to CDs while I do my work. Isn't that marvelous? Anyway, the CD I'm listening to currently is "Nessun Dorma: 20 Great Tenor Arias" featuring works by such greats as Puccini, Bizet, Verdi, and Flotow.

Every now and then when I'm listening to classical music and opera pieces, I come across works that I used to play in my orchestra in school. I played the flute from 4th grade until I graduated from high school. It was a long haul and along the way I came across some numbers that are still in my head. One such number is one that I've been listening to today by Friedrich von Flotow called "M'appari" from the opera Martha. It's a touching song even without the lyrics. I immediately was drawn back to middle school, blowing into my flute, trying to find the right feel and vibrato for the song. Today is the first day I've seen the lyrics and they are indeed touching. Click here to read the words to this gorgeous song. Also, go here to listen to Pavarotti sing a sample of "M'appari."

Also on the CD is one of the most often-used classical songs in films -- "Nessun Dorma" by Puccini. Go to this YouTube clip to hear Pavarotti sing this masterpiece. Enjoy!

Cherokee Teachings from the Wisdom Fire

About ten years ago I found a book called Voices of Our Ancestors: Cherokee Teachings from the Wisdom Fire by Dhyani Ywahoo that I haven't been able to fully comprehend. Perhaps the more I read Ywahoo's book, the more I'll eventually understand it. But there are tidbits in the book that immediately hit home for me.

Ywahoo, a member of the traditional Etowah Band of the Eastern Tsalagi (Cherokee) Nation, said she was "charged with the duty to rekindle the fire of clear mind and right relationship in these changing times" and that's why she wrote the book. She is a guide to all who walk "the Beauty Road."

The back jacket of the Voices of Our Ancestors says that it "teaches practical ways of transforming obstacles to happiness and good relationships, fulfilling one's life purpose, manifesting peace and abundance ... It includes teachings on how to practice generosity and harmony.

Here are some of the jewels I've discovered in the book:

Our elders taught that forgiveness was a great balm--the most great medicine that brings freedom from hurt.

***

Everyone has some idea of what another's vice or fault is and what ought to be corrected. The real issue is to clarify one's own consciousness, be one with the stream of clear mind in oneself, that one may act in the present rather than react to issues of the past.

***

Affirmation is a skillful means for transforming energy, and it begins with the deletion of negative statements about self and others. A negative statement freezes one in time and space without room for harmonization.

And here's a message that made my mind and body sing:

Each of us has a song in our heart. Through thought, through action, each one is creating vibration in the atmosphere. When we think about the dancing atoms that build and sustain the forms of life, we can see ourselves forever in the dance. Everything is vibration. Our action rings out in many dimensions, and in that way our thoughts and actions return to us. We call it karma or destiny.

Dancing the Blues Away

Last night my 5-year-old daughter had the blues, so I encouraged her to talk about her feelings and cry. She's remakably able to articulate exactly how she feels and why she feels that way. She asks questions and genuinely listens to the answers. I hope I'm setting the stage for her to be able to talk to me about anything, and to freely express her anger, frustration, saddness, etc. I'm sure it sounds a little strange to hear that a toddler has the blues and is able to work through the saddness, but she seems to have an old soul and advanced wisdom for her age.

Watching my daughter cry and talk about her feelings reminded me of my saddness when I was her age. Unfortunately, I wasn't given a stage to talk about what was happening to me, or cry and get through the confusion. Perhaps this is my chance to help the inner child in me as I help my daughter get through her blue periods.

Shortly after her episode, I asked her if she wanted to dance. This is something we do now and then just because we both love music and really like to dance. She insisted that I dance for her first and then she danced for me. I adore the way she's able to keep some of her trademark moves but still dance with abandon. She throws her whole body into it and seems to work through whatever emotional state has inhabited her at the time. I'm able to do that sometimes too. But from her, I'm learning to do it more often. She jumps up and down, swings her head around, and sometimes even contorts her face into several different expressions during the dance. In other words, she really gets into it.

I hope she retains that ability to let it all go when she dances. It's a great way to dance the blues away. She already has a ready made answer to the ups, downs, dissappointments, betrayals, triumphs, and roller coaster ride of live.

Mystery, Miracles, and Magic

Last week was a tough one, but with God pushing me along and giving me strength, I made it through. My parents also came to town so that fed my spirit immensely, and a special celebration with my daughter and other relatives was enough to carry me through for a while.

My Auntie Claire in D.C. sent me a card with a simple message that just broke me down. The outside says, "I Believe In You." In the inside she wrote, "Hope to see you soon," and she wrote "2007" on it four times. This really hit me because I've been writing "2007" on all the cards that I've received this year so that I can remember the givers' messages to me during the most difficult and challenging time of my life, thus far. But it was the simple printed message in Auntie Claire's card that really moved me to tears:

I believe in mystery
and miracles
and the magic of a new day ...

Man! Did I need to hear that, and how grateful I am that she's sending those magical powers my way.

Thank you Auntie Claire! May God bless you forever.

Love,
Lisa

Ask and it Shall be Given to You

I'm asking a lot from God right now so I am meditating on these words from the Bible:

Luke 11:9-10

"So I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who seeks finds; and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."

And here are the words in that beautiful Gullah language that I love to read, hear, and dream about:

"A da tell oona say, aks God and e gwine gii ya wa ya aks fa. Look ta God, an ya gwine find wasoneba ya da look fa. Knock ta God door, an e gwine open um ta ya. Cause de poson wa aks, God gwine gim wa e aks fa. De poson wa look ta God, e gwine find wasoneba ya da look fa. An de poson wa knock ta God door, God Gwine open de door ta um."

Amen and alleluia! Praise God.

Poem: A Flutter

A Flutter (Praise Dance)
by Alicia Benjamin


First, a flutter.
Then I felt her shake and roll.

She shimmied--
vibrated her house,
my womb,
better than Billie Holiday’s vibrato.

She quivered and wiggled like she was at her first
camp meeting--
like she already knew how to praise and shout
with her Indian red,
flickering body.

GiGi was a dancer in my dreams
before she was born.