Cappuccino Soul

Cappuccino Soul

Monday, September 15, 2014

Spanking - is it Love?

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This excerpt from abcnews.com is very important and includes issues that this culture has been debating for decades:

“Hardin (Adrian Peterson's attorney) said Peterson used a switch because that was the way he was brought up by his parents in Palestine, Texas, and the NFL star agreed.

‘I have to live with the fact that when I disciplined my son the way I was disciplined as a child, I caused an injury that I never intended or thought would happen,’ Peterson said. ‘I know that many people disagree with the way I disciplined my child. I also understand after meeting with a psychologist that there are other alternative ways of disciplining a child that may be more appropriate.’

The part I like is: "I also understand after meeting with a psychologist that there are other alternative ways of disciplining a child that may be more appropriate."

Let me just say that I am against corporal punishment (spanking -- at home or at school). But I sympathize with Peterson. So many of us have been beaten or “spanked" as a disciplinary measure. Many times -- excessively. I've seen many instances of this up close that have made me cringe and turn away. I know these issues have caused a great debate. But that's what it's worth -- a great debate.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

thank you for the message. last weekend my daughter and granddaughter were visiting. my granddaughter picked up a little tree branch and pulled up her pant leg and hit herself on the leg. my daughter said she doesn't spank her or hit her. she was imitating her other grandmother spanking two older grandchildren she keeps. my granddaughter will be two next month. we communicate with her in other ways than how we were disciplined. when i really, deeply think about spanking a child i have to now think what is being communicated to the child. growing up i feared my mother because of the spankings. i didn't get many but because of my personality i withdrew from her and internalized my feelings. took years to establish a healthy relationship with her. my grandmother who i eventually lived with because my parents fought so much was more nurturing. i was very confused about love when it was expressed through spanking versus talking about the unwanted behaviors.

Alicia Benjamin said...

Thank you for sharing the message sister. My daughter has asked about "whoopings" and spankings, because she doesn't get them and I think the thought of it terrifies her. Violence is violence I think. Many children have been emotionally scarred because of beatings and spankings, in the name of discipline. I think there's a lot of shame and anger that have been passed down.

I think the history of being whipped as slaves has also been passed down, subconsciously....but getting people to look at the effects of the physical and emotional hurt is difficult. We've got a long way to go on that front.

I agree with you. You have to get creative when disciplining a child, outside of spanking, but it's worth it in the long run -- in my opinion.

Thank you for commenting!

peace,
alicia

Anonymous said...

Their is no reason for a child that young to be spanked with a switch. there is less sevier ways to teach a child that young right from wrong. The point is that parents need to teach their children right from wrong so that the authorities wont hit them later with a billy club or bullet.
Justice will be served.

MaDear

Anonymous said...

My GOD Chastens his children when we do wrong because HE loves us. We are HIS children, that's why the LORD's prayer starts with "OUR FATHER WHICH ART IN HEAVEN"....Don't take this the wrong way, just think about it.

MaDear

Alicia Benjamin said...

Thank you MaDear for your thoughtful words. The key word is "teach" -- that's the point. Not to "hurt."